Ordinary

Plain, content to be the same

Never pushing against the grain

Content without the acclaim

Never seeking any fame

Simple, one that everybody knows

Never wanting to impose

Always going with the flows

Never making any foes

Normal, not the one to stand out

Never trying to breakout

No waves made in life throughout

Never hiding just fades out

I Can't

I can't, I like to say

Want to, but feel there is no way

Feel trapped, bound, and stuck

Not much faith in my luck

My future feels bleak

Been riding out a bad luck streak

Feel like the clouds should clear

Too many years just haven't been my year

Finding The Words

The words don't want to come

I can't find them in the haze

When I try to think I just feel dumb

Instead of filling the paper, I sit in silence filling ashtrays

Where have the words gone off to

When they're here their in abundance

But, then they leave, my thoughts can't seem to breakthrough

To a writer, writers block is such a hindrance

Damaged Goods

Feel I have no value, my flesh itself feels cheap

Smile on the outside but, deep inside I weep

Self worth is torn up, and shattered, my scars hide deep inside

Face held high as I move forward, inside I cower and hide

My demons blows reign down upon me always but, its true face never seems to show

Screaming loudly from inside but, outside nobody knows

Bruises fade away with time but, the damage always stays

It's that damage I carry with me as I lumber through my days

If your pain is not visible, is it still real?

If it's from your past, is it something that you can still feel?

Is rising from the ashes even possible?  Can I still stand up?

If I can't find my inner value is it even something I can still buildup?

God, and others love me but, why can't I?

For me to survive, and be happy, I will just have to rise up and try

Caged

Feeling trapped inside, born to hide

Insecurities divide, doubt disturbes your stride

Always you want out but, aimlessly you walk about

Must escape your fears hideout, before your time runs out

Courage can be hard to find and, past failures won't stay behind

Fear can sometimes make you blind, so you must stick steadfast to the grind

Find strength inside your dreams, no matter how hard success seems

Push your will to the extremes, only ever heed to your hearts screams
Scratch and claw to find your way, lay your claim upon this day
Follow your dreams into the fray, you will succeed one day  

Black Heart

She always had a cold, black heart.  In her soul there was nothing there

She killed all my dreams and drained my soul.  And, never once, did she ever care

Once wasted I was thrown away.  Like a worthless piece of trash

But, in the end she lost the best thing she ever had.  And, honestly, she can kiss my ass

I wish only the worst upon her.  Although, I know that is wrong

I just hope God will forgive my hate because it's way to deep, and far too strong
My gloves are off, I've surrendered control
She is a monster that reason will not hold
Children are not weapons, and love is not a tool to pry
I'm tired of trying to reason with a demon, and always wondering why
She has to rip and tear at me even though she lives her new life that is an empty lie
But, it's the life she chose, it just brings her no joy which, is a fact she must deny.
Her own mother didn't want her, she wanted her to die
Her grandmother failed her too, but it's very easy to see why
Selfishness is all they ever showed, greed all they seemed to know
So love never had the slightest chance to be, much less to ever grow 

Sometimes

Sometimes you just want to cry

Even though you don't know why

Sometimes you think that you could fly

Just reach right up and touch the sky

Sometimes you are terrified

Fear inside too strong to be denied

Sometimes you are very brave

Never to be your fears slave

Sometimes you are unsure

Your proper choice or path obscure

Sometimes your path seems very clear

Your goals and dreams all seem so possible,and near

Sometimes you want to run away and hide from yourself

But that is failure in and of itself

At all times it is important to believe

In who you are, will be, and want to achieve

A Poem For My Wife

I honestly, deeply love my wife
She makes me whole, and love my life

Before I knew her love, I used to feel
That this life was meaningless, hateful, and unreal

But it's because of her I now know
That that just isn't what is so

Her love has completely set me free
Made me believe in love, and feel safe to be me

Everyday my love for her only grows
I just pray so hard to God, that deep down she knows

I try my best to tell her everyday
Using my words, my kisses, my eyes, and many other ways

But, God forbid, I should die before I wake
I worry, not only because it would make her heart break

It's so much more and, what I really need to know
Is if I did, and said enough for her to show

Her that my love was deep, pure, and true
So I try my best each, and every day to do

All that I can to drive my feelings through
It just doesn't feel enough to say, 'Baby, I love you'

Even when I kiss her eyes, or hold her tight

I feel I'm still just not doing it right

There must be more that I can do

But until then I just must make-do

With loving her my best each, and everyday

And always showing her in every way

That she means so much more to me

Than I know how to make her see.