Sunday, October 30, 2011

Ok life, whats next?

     Am I waiting for my next great idea to come or for my first one to arrive?  Have I even ever really had a truly great idea?  Do I even have ideas at all or are all my decisions really just instinctual reactions to my current circumstances?
     Who really knows any of the answers to these questions?  And even better question than that one is, who in the hell really even cares about any of that?  Not me, that's for sure.  I don't have the time to care about unanswerable questions or the energy to even fake the interest.  I can ask God all of those things when I go to meet him.  My concerns are for my family and to try to find and maintain just a little happiness in my life.
      Life is hard enough already and it's live and in progress as we speak so until I get a handle on that I think I have enough on my plate because, life is all too often complex and hard and barreling down like a runaway freight train speeding down times tracks at breakneck speed and whether you choose to participate in the direction of it's course or just let the wheel spin your stuck on board.  So you had better just strap in because there ain't no brakes on this train.

     Navigating through life can often feel like playing a high stakes game of destiny that plays out non-stop in real time and whether you play along or not it just keeps going forward with or without your participation because Life doesn't care if you pay attention to your cards and try to win or just toss them in the trash.  It gives you absolutely no thought at all it just deals you into the game, places your bet and now your all-in baby, like it or not from the gate everything is at stake. 
     This world is a cold place, it's heartless and will devour you whole given even the slightest chance without feeling any remorse whatsoever.  It just rolls on and on blindly ahead and if your in the way it will roll right over you crushing you like a bug without ever even noticing you were there.  
     So, actually at it's core it's pretty simple really.  In life you can either lay down, give up and just let the wheel spin and rely on mercy it just doesn't have and just let the world use up and finally consume you or you can get up off your ass and get in the damn game already, it's time to fight.  Take the reigns of your life into your own hands and lead it towards where YOU want it to go.  
    And if it resists you grab hold tight as you can, dig in deep and you make that stubborn bitch go in the direction of your life's dreams and goals.  If you don't take control and drive her she'll never head there on her own so grab hold and make her go where you want her to.  Don't leave anything to chance. 
     I prefer taking charge 'cuz if I'm going down I'm going down swinging.  Swinging for the fences, wild and violent and with intent to destroy any and all obstacles in my way with all my heart, spirit, will, and might on the line.  I will fight viciously, tirelessly and without mercy for my family and my dreams because whats more important?  I can't think of anything and I'll be damned if I'm just gonna lay down quit and let this world just take everything away from me. 
     I'll tell you what, even driving I may lose out, life may still find a way to kick my ass in the end but trust me, when our battle is over, it's gonna know it was in a fight.  Because it's all out war.  A choice between defeat and a shot at happiness in life requires no thought for me at all.  I will always chose to fight.  Hell, it's gonna be an all out war like Rocky 2 up in here.  In the end both of us may be down, tired and bloody, bruised up and sore but we're both stubborn so no ones giving up, both of us still clawing and fighting to climb up the ropes and get to our feet before the ref counts ten.  I'm gonna be that last man standing because in my damn movie I'm Rocky, life's Apollo and Adrian told me to win and Rocky never lets Adrian down.
     Because I know of at least one thing in this life that's certain and that's that happiness will never just land itself softly at your doorstep and wait patiently there for you to decide to finally saunter lazily out and pick it up.  It's there but if you want it your gonna have to get up off your ass, chase that wild bitch down, grab hold of her with all your strength, all that you are and use everything you have inside and when you have her NEVER, EVER let go, don't give a single inch.  Bend fate to your will.  She won't just quit you have got to make her relent. 
     Happiness is yours to have if you want it but it's not automatic, free or a given right of any kind.  If you want it your going to have to take charge of your life and make it happen and it isn't going to be easy, but then again as cliche and sappy as it may sound its true sappy or not...nothing that's worth having in life ever is.
     So who cares whats next?  There's not even any way for you to know.  Life's obstacles will come at you all on there own randomly and in plentiful  abundance but if you stand your ground and always follow your heart your soul will guide you to where you need to go on it's own.  It knows the way, all you gotta do is listen.  So stop thinking so much and just listen to your heart.  React. Be swift. Fight. Be strong. Live in the moment and focus always on your path.
     All that damn thinking and second guessing your doing is only confusing you and slowing you down.  Fear loves to lie and lives to steal from you but your heart will never lie to you so listen to it, embrace your destiny and then get your ass out there and go fight for and claim whats yours. 
     Bust your ass to get it and once you have it hold onto it or die trying because at least that way you can always face yourself in the mirror knowing you didn't just lay down and accept defeat you fought for your dreams and chased them down hard.  you gave all you had leaving nothing you could try untried or do undone.  You followed your heart, had faith in yourself closed your eyes, believed and went all out in search of happiness in this world. 
    That's whats next.  That's all that really matters.  All that ever did. 

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