Its horrible. You hurt for no reason. Your below low. So low you can't even find the words to express how defeated and broken you feel or the strength to convey it even if you did have the words. It's a waking nightmare because all you crave is closeness. Someone to catch you or pull you up but all you do outwardly is repell. People either dont even accept that your control over your emotions is nonexistant or have no idea how to help.
It's so lonely. Being trapped inside. Screaming out in pain with a mute voice. No one hears you yet you scream all the same from deep inside your soul. Depression is a lonely internal prison. Its an illness that no one understands or even tries to. People just think you can turn it off when you would love to do just that but can't. It owns you and you can't break free of its grasp.
If you suffer from depression get help. Admit to yourself that you cant fight it alone and see a doctor. I know it's hard to do for many different reasons but it's something you have to do for yourself. The voices in your head are wrong. You do have value and you need help to realize that and silence them.
If you know someone who suffers from depression help them. Don't ignore it or assume it will get better. It only gets worse. If you love that person don't spend your life wishing you would have intervened; do it!
Depression can be stopped with the proper medication and therepy which is what makes its hold over so many people so tragic. Lack of self value and peer intervention is all that keeps this disease strong. With the love of the people around them and knowledge there is NO reason anyone should go on suffering something from a chemical imbalance that can so easily be treated.