I don't usually write personal articles on this Blog. What I'm about to write actually started out as a journal entry but something made me move it here. I'm not sure why and it may end up so personal that I won't post it but I have been suffering from writer's block and I think keeping this inside may be why. I seem to be trapped under a black cloud. I have had a very bad couple of years.
Luck. I think I used to have it and maybe one day I will again. Hopefully anyway, but I haven't had any for a very long time. I haven't seemed to have any since my divorce. Not that I was particuarly very lucky before that it's just been really bad since then.
I don't wan't to spend a lot of time talking about my divorce. This isn't about that. What's actually on my mind is what has gone on since then. What led up to me losing a job that I really did love. I really think in a way losing that job was a really big blow to me mentally. I sensed it would be as I was leaving but I didn't realize just how much of a blow it would end up being. I really miss it.
I loved my job. I was good at it, I enjoyed doing it, alot of times I even had fun doing it. I worked in a really good environment, I liked the people I worked with, I had a semi-private room to work in, and was given the respect and freedom to basically manage myself. I even had a gym membership, which I also loved and miss, on a great deal from the company. I loved it. If the job had paid more and had a little better insurance it would have been perfect. But I still loved it. And I miss it immensely.
I wish I could have stayed. I still obsess over how I could have stayed. I try to think from every angle ways I could have held on to that job. You see, I wasn't fired. I had to quit.
I miss it though. I miss the people and the job. Durkee you and your huge thumb nail and chubby goattee face and big fake diamond earrings. Paul, you and your humurous anbiguousness, I loved all you guys. I hope your all doing well.